Overview of Happy
The Facade of Perfection
At first glance, Saoirse appears to have it all: she is popular, a champion runner, slim, and possesses a vibrant sense of humor. However, the narrative delves deeper into her character, revealing the insecurities she conceals from those around her. Despite her outward success, Saoirse grapples with significant internal struggles that paint a different picture of her reality.
Insecurities and Body Image
Saoirse's journey is marked by her insecurities regarding body image, which manifest in various ways. She experiences a profound fear of being seen naked, whether in changing rooms or with a partner. This fear is compounded by feelings of inadequacy—wondering if she is pretty enough or clever enough. Her desire for traits she does not possess leads to a cycle of negative self-talk and obsessive comparisons to an idealised version of femininity, often epitomised by the "Barbie culture." This relentless pursuit of an unattainable standard leaves her feeling discontented and trapped.
The Symbolism of the Balloon
As Saoirse goes through these challenging, crippling teenage years, she often thinks back to happier times when she was free and she dreams of letting go like a balloon loose in the sky, but the balloon that represents her is tied to a string and is being controlled and tied down. All that stops her from being free is the string, but she is unaware of this and so doesn’t know she can cut the string and be free anytime so she continues to live her life anchored down, like a puppet on a string or a lioness in a cage.
The Weight of Negative Self-Talk
Saoirse's negative self-talk serves as a lead weight attached to her string, further anchoring her down and preventing her from experiencing true freedom. This self-imposed limitation mirrors the plight of many teenagers who grapple with similar feelings of inadequacy and the pressure to conform to societal standards. Saoirse's story is not just a fictional account; it resonates with the real-life experiences of countless adolescents. It highlights the importance of addressing issues related to body image, self-esteem, and the internal struggles that often go unnoticed. By engaging with this narrative, students can find solace in knowing they are not alone in their challenges, and educators can foster a more supportive environment that encourages open dialogue about these crucial topics.
The Significance of Saoirse's Journey
Saoirse’s journey begins in the jungle, until the age of ten. This setting symbolises the instinctual way of being that characterises early childhood. As children transition into what is often referred to as “the age of reason,” they begin to shift from an intuitive brain to a more analytical one. “Happy” explores the implications of this transition, particularly in the context of students with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), who often struggle to adapt to environments that favour analytical thinking over instinctual behaviour.
The Intuitive Brain: Early Childhood Development
In the early years of life, children operate primarily from their intuitive brain, engaging with the world through instinctual responses and natural curiosity. Saoirse’s life in the jungle signifies this carefree existence, where movement is fluid and spontaneous. Children at this stage are more likely to explore their surroundings without the constraints of learned behaviour. They exhibit a sense of freedom in their actions, reflecting the unfiltered nature of their cognitive processes.
The Shift to Analytical Thinking
As children reach the age of ten, they typically begin to engage more with their analytical brain. This transition marks a significant change in how they interact with their environment. In schoolyards, this shift is observable; children become less spontaneous and more structured in their movements. They start to conform to socially accepted behaviours and norms, often suppressing their natural instincts in favour of learned actions. This developmental change can lead to a loss of the carefree spirit that characterised their earlier years.
The Unique Challenges Faced by Children with ADHD
Children with ADHD remain operating from their instinctual brain, like the hunter/gatherer they operate better in the free environment and find it difficult to operate from the analytical brain. Many children with ADHD find the transition difficult as they are expected to behave in a certain way in neurotypical predominant environments which they may find draining and overwhelming. It’s no surprise that they find it difficult to triumph in these environments as they are not entirely compatible with them.
The Discomfort of Incompatibility
It’s hard to explain as a teenager but you just know that you don’t feel comfortable, don’t really fit in, but you can’t figure out what or why. They may feel drained and come across lazy when really they may be over or under stimulated. They may seem unfocused but rather the opposite they may be focusing on too many things at one time and find it hard for them to process it all together.
Coping Mechanisms and Social Behaviour
Under pressure, some children with ADHD may resort to anti-social behaviour as a means of coping with their discomfort. This behaviour is often a mask for their internal struggles, allowing them to navigate environments that feel foreign and overwhelming. It is crucial to understand that such actions are not indicative of laziness or lack of effort; rather, they stem from a need to manage their feelings in a world that often fails to accommodate their unique cognitive processes. Saoirse’s narrative serves as a poignant reminder of the complexities surrounding cognitive development and the challenges faced by children with ADHD. As they transition from an instinctual to an analytical way of thinking, many find themselves ill-equipped to navigate environments that prioritise learned behaviour over natural instinct. By fostering greater understanding and support for these children, educators and peers can create more inclusive spaces that honour their unique ways of processing the world. Recognising the value of instinctual thinking alongside analytical reasoning can pave the way for a more compassionate approach to education and social interaction.
The journey of self-discovery can often be fraught with challenges, missteps, and moments of profound clarity. For many, including myself, this path may lead to the realisation of underlying conditions that shape our experiences and perceptions. After years of self-reflection through various mediums of self-help, I finally arrived at a pivotal revelation: I have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). This realisation was not merely a label; it was the key to understanding the intricate tapestry of my life. As I navigated through the emotional turbulence of my past, I uncovered the depth of my empathy and the longing for connection that had always defined my existence.
The Awakening: Discovering ADHD
The journey towards understanding my ADHD began with a straightforward questionnaire, where I scored high across the board, illuminating the full spectrum of my experiences. Each question resonated with me, revealing patterns of behaviour and feelings that I had long struggled to articulate. The realisation that I possessed ADHD was transformative; it provided a framework through which I could make sense of the chaos that had often characterised my internal world. Understanding ADHD enabled me to see that my struggles were not personal failings but rather manifestations of a neurodevelopmental condition that influenced my interactions and emotions.
The Burden of Empathy
One of the most profound aspects of my experience with ADHD is my heightened sense of empathy. As an empath, I feel emotions deeply—both my own and those of others. This sensitivity can be a double-edged sword; while it allows for profound connections, it also renders me vulnerable to emotional overwhelm. In moments when others called me names or dismissed my feelings, the impact was magnified by my empathetic nature. I found it difficult to navigate social situations, often feeling like an outsider yearning for a connection that seemed just out of reach. Deep down, I longed to help and heal others, to forge bonds that transcended the superficiality of everyday interactions.
The Struggle for Connection
Despite my intense desire for connection, I often felt isolated and misunderstood. It was not a lack of love that contributed to my feelings of loneliness; rather, it was my difficulty in fully immersing myself in the present moment. ADHD can create barriers to mindfulness, making it challenging to engage meaningfully with those around me. I grappled with the conflicting emotions of wanting to belong yet feeling as though I was perpetually on the outside looking in. This internal conflict left me questioning my place in the world, leading to moments of despair where I considered whether I truly wanted to be here.
A Mission to Heal: Writing “Happy”
In the face of these challenges, I found solace in writing. Over the course of thirteen years, I poured my heart and soul into a manuscript titled "Happy." This book is not just a reflection of my experiences; it is a beacon of hope for anyone who may be navigating similar struggles. Through the character of Saoirse, I aim to convey a message of resilience and empowerment. Saoirse represents the journey from darkness to light, illustrating that it is possible to not only survive adversity but to thrive in the aftermath. I want young readers to know that they are not alone in their struggles, that there is a path towards healing and connection.
A Message of Hope and Care
Ultimately, "Happy" serves as a reminder that every individual is important and worthy of love and understanding. It is a testament to the fact that someone cares—be it Dee Dee, Saoirse, or countless others who have walked similar paths. My hope is that this book will resonate with the "inner children" of adults and young people alike, reminding them that their feelings are valid and that they are not alone in their journey. As we navigate the complexities of life, it is essential to foster connections that affirm our worth and celebrate our unique experiences. The journey of self-discovery is often nonlinear, filled with moments of clarity and confusion. Through my exploration of ADHD and empathy, I have come to understand the profound impact these elements have on my life. The realisation of my condition has not only provided answers but has also ignited a passion for helping others find their way through dark times. With "Happy," I hope to offer guidance and encouragement to those who may feel lost, reminding them that healing is possible and that they are never truly alone. As Saoirse embarks on her journey, may she inspire others to embrace their own paths towards hope and freedom.
The Transformative Role of Educators and Coaches in Neurodiversity Awareness
In the journey of self-discovery and personal growth, the influence of teachers and coaches is often profound and life-altering. In the narrative of Saoirse, the protagonist grappling with the challenges of ADHD, the support she receives from these pivotal figures underscores the significance of their roles in shaping her understanding of herself. Despite their own busy lives, these mentors become instrumental in identifying Saoirse’s ADHD and facilitating the support she requires. The relationship between Saoirse and her coach exemplifies the synergy of mutual growth, highlighting how the bond between a mentor and a mentee can create a powerful catalyst for change.
The phrase “how can you tell the dancer from the dance?” aptly encapsulates the relationship between Saoirse and her coach. In this dynamic, each individual plays an essential role in the other’s development. Coaches need athletes to challenge and inspire, while athletes rely on coaches for guidance and support. This partnership transcends mere instruction; it is a collaborative effort toward a shared goal of self-improvement. The beauty of this union lies in its potential to alter the trajectory of a young person’s life. When teachers and coaches invest their time and energy into understanding their students, they foster an environment where individuals can thrive, not just academically or athletically, but holistically.
The Struggles of Undiagnosed ADHD
Up to the point of her ADHD diagnosis Saoirse had moments of feeling suicidal as some tasks were so hard to perform and the buildup of small things made her overwhelmed at times and as she had no diagnosis, she had no awareness of her condition, so she just thought she was different to others but couldn’t explain why. This sense of alienation is compounded by her attempts to mask her differences, engaging in a daily battle to fit into a world that often feels incompatible with her neurodivergent brain. The pressure to conform creates a relentless cycle of stress and anxiety, further exacerbating her emotional turmoil.
The Power of Diagnosis and Knowledge
Upon receiving her diagnosis, Saoirse undergoes a transformative shift in her self-perception. The realisation that she is not broken, nor in need of fixing, liberates her from the burden of self-blame. The mantra “Knowledge is King” resonates deeply as she begins to understand her ADHD and its implications for her daily life. Armed with this awareness, she can embrace her unique qualities rather than suppress them. Planning and preparation become essential tools for navigating her challenges, allowing her to cultivate a more enjoyable and fulfilling life. This newfound understanding underscores the importance of awareness in the healing process, not just for Saoirse, but for all neurodivergent individuals.
Advocating for Neurodiversity
The journey toward acceptance extends beyond individual experiences; it encompasses a broader societal imperative to promote neurodiversity and inclusivity. It is crucial to acknowledge that every individual learns differently and possesses unique strengths. The dichotomy between neurodivergent and neurotypical individuals can be likened to two distinct operating systems—one to an iPhone and the other resembling a Samsung. While each system has its merits, the school system is still an environment predominantly for neurotypical people to learn academically and not for neurodivergent people to learn creatively. But ultimately the first step towards healing is awareness.
Conclusion
As Saoirse learns to unmask and reveal her true authentic self in the book, so too does the author Dee Dee in real life and both characters go on to live happier, healthier lives in tune with their higher purpose. Through listening to the little voice in her head, Dee Dee wrote "Happy". A task that started out with a desire and wish to heal the world but ultimately healed herself. The message is: follow the lil voice in your head, your heart, your gut, as this will allow Spirit to guide you through to align with your higher self and help you carry out your most worthy earthly duties. And help you recover and discover your true self. I hope this helps, students and teachers of the world alike, let’s join forces in making heaven on earth so nobody will want to leave early.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Dee Dee xxx